The Edgey Chronicles
by Stefan-sama
Summary: Pre-AA. A collection of oneshots about the childhood and teen-age of everyone's favorite pink-and-frilly prosecutor.
1. Turnabout Meetings

**My own (not-so) "secret project" has arrived! This one documents everyone's second-favorite prosecutor's (Godot for the win!) childhood in Germany following Gregory's death. Ample amounts of Franzy, Manny, and his older sister. She was briefly alluded to in the games, so I thought I'd give a shot at an OC. The result is Marlis von Karma, whose name means "Bitter" in German. She's going to appear a lot, so OC haters, bail out now. In any case, German translations are at the bottom, because there's going to be a lot. Sorry for any errors I make, error catches and the correct translations would be appreciated. Enjoy! **

**The Edgey Chronicles**

**Chapter One: Turnabout Meetings**

Moving was never an appealing prospect for many children. Moving without your parents was even worse. My mother had died from a severe case of Incuritis when I was far too little to remember her. My father had passed away just last year. And I was the one who had caused that. A chill ran down my spine just from the memory of that dark, nightmarish elevator.

In any case, Manfred von Karma, the legendary prosecutor whose win record had been scarred at the hands of my father himself, had offered to take me in for reasons unknown. I didn't have anywhere else to go, so I accepted.

But he had failed to show, even for his own son. Maybe he was busy, maybe he was away, or maybe he just didn't care. The only person I had seen was an elderly maid who had ushered me in an left me at least two hours ago. So that was how I ended up curled in a ball at the edge of the von Karma mansion, completely and utterly miserable.

A steely voice prompted me to look up. "_Wer sind Sie und was wollen Sie_?" demanded a small child, three, maybe four years of age, pointing her index finger and glaring menacingly at me.

Of course, I couldn't reply, even if I wanted to; I only knew English, in addition to a few basic phrases in Chinese and French. I reached nervously for the English-German dictionary in my pocket and began thumbing through the yellowed pages. "Um… _Mein Name… Mein Name ist_ Miles, Miles Edgeworth…" I stammered, (hopefully) introducing myself.

She seemed to get it, or at least appeared to. "Miles… Edgeworth…?" she muttered darkly. She caught the attention of an older girl, maybe fifteen or so, standing at the top of the stairs. "Marlis, _was ist das_ Miles Edgeworth _dabei hier_?"

The girl gasped and trotted down the stairs as quickly as she could. "You are Miles Edgeworth, _ja_?" I nodded slowly, wondering if I should slink away and dial the nearest insane asylum.

"I'm terribly sorry you had to wait so long, we weren't expecting you until tomorrow!" She clapped, elated, and turned to who appeared to be her younger sister. "Franziska, look! It's our new sibling; my younger brother!" Franziska just scowled, obviously not enjoying her day.

My new older sister, Marlis, was a nice girl. She was a law prodigy like the rest of her family, but, unlike her father, she was a defense attorney. She rarely spoke with her father, and when she did, it was usually in a condescending tone.

Franziska was much more like Mr. von Karma. She was stubborn, arrogant, and would do whatever it took to win. She was also what you would call a prodigy: at only four she spoke fluently with a wide vocabulary (though you wouldn't know it due to her constant abuse of the word _fool_) and was able to comprehend court proceedings. And she wielded a pretty mean whip despite her age.

The rest of day was spent exploring the vast von Karma mansion and dodging the cracks of Franziska's whip, both things that seemed to be the norm for Marlis. I didn't blame her: the house was so big that even Franziska's ego couldn't fill it, and that's saying something. And Franziska gets angry _very_ easily, in addition to having an aim akin to a sniper.

Dinner that was a quiet affair. The servants at the next table were chatting and laughing quite animatedly, but the table hosting the important people's supper was much more dignified. Conversation was almost nil, and any topic was a question followed by a two-word answer, if that.

Marlis cut her steak quietly on my right; it was obvious that she also expressed discomfort toward unfamiliar adults. Across the table, Franziska, unlike Marlis and I, actually understood (or at least was interested in) the adult's conversation, but quickly grew bored. "So, Little Brother…" she began airily. She obviously had adopted her sister's manner of addressing me. "America… What is it like?"

"Um… From the area where I come from, it's pretty hot, and there's a lot of buildings, so it gets humid as well. But the hills behind the city are nice…" I responded nervously before turning to Marlis. "She speaks English as well…?"

"_Vater _teaches her personally." She whispered back. She said the words_ father_ and _personally_ coldly, almost disdainfully.

The conversation continued in much the same way; small talk, trivial things, until we got to the subject of law. "You want to be a defense attorney as well, _ja_?" asked Marlis.

I lit up. "Yeah! I'm going to be the greatest defense attorney ever and find the truth no matter what, just like my father!"

Franziska scowled. "Only a foolishly foolhardy foolish fool's fool is foolishly foolish enough to foolishly participate in the foolishly foolish foolhardy folly that is foolishly defending fools. Defending is nothing more than letting foolishly foolish foolhardy criminals get away with their foolishly foolish murder." she spat.

She was about to go on, but Marlis silenced her, reprimanding her sharply. "Franziska, _stoppen_." Following that, our conversation much resembled the adults'.

______________

That night I lay in bed, unable to sleep. Just as I was about to fall asleep, Marlis slipped through the door. "Oh, I'm sorry, _kleinen bruder_. I thought you were asleep." She laid a small package on my desk. "This came for you in the mail this morning." She turned to leave, shutting the door behind her quietly. "_Süß träume_, Miles."

I flipped on the lamp sitting on my dresser. For a multibillionaire, Mr. von Karma sure didn't spare very much money on his guest rooms: mine consisted of white walls, the aforementioned desk and dresser, a hospital-style bed, and a small window, nothing more. I tore open the envelope and unfolded the single sheet of paper sitting inside.

The letter consisted of neat black and white size twelve Times New Roman typing. I knew instantly who had written it.

_Dear Miles,_

_How is Germany? I heard it's really cold over there from a temporary exchange student named Kristoph. It's as hot as ever here in Los Angeles. My mom says you can cook eggs on the sidewalk. I haven't tried it yet._

_How's your new family? You said that your new dad was going to be real scary. If he gets out of hand, just give him that death glare of yours, that'll set him straight._

_You said you'd have sisters as well, right? It must be nice having sisters; I'm an only child. Just make sure not to start crushing on them, because Larry says that you'll get cooties._

_Didn't you say the von Karmas were really rich, too? Do you have an indoor pool? I want one, but my mom said no for some reason. Maybe because she thinks I'll drown or something._

_Anyway, I have to wrap this up, my mom says I'm wasting ink. Just make sure to become the best defense attorney the world has ever seen._

_Your Friend Forever,_

_Phoenix_

I set down the letter silently and wiped away the tears trailing down my cheeks. No… Phoenix was wrong. It was as Franziska had said: defending meant letting criminals get away. If somebody murdered Phoenix, I'd have to let the killer of my closest friend off the hook.

No, it didn't work that way. There was only one way I could ensure justice was served. There was only one way I could ensure the safety of Franziska, Phoenix, Marlis, and maybe even Larry (just maybe). There was only one way I could ensure that nobody ever hurt my family ever again.

And that was to become a prosecutor.

_____________________

_Wer sind Sie und was wollen Sie: Who are you and what do you want?_

_Mein Name ist...: My name is..._

_Marlis, was ist das Miles Edgeworth_ _dabei hier: Marlis, what is this Miles Edgeworth doing here?_

_ja: yes_

_vater: father_

_stoppen: stop_

_kleinen bruder: little brother_

_süß träume: sweet dreams_


	2. Turnabout Karma

**Once again, I apologize for a slower update, something which I seem to be doing more and more often these days. Maybe I should drop the wholequick update idea... But anyway, I actually have a (more or less) legitimate excuse this time! See, after seeing the FINAL FANTASY: Distant Worlds orchestrated concert (which was the best 3 hours of my life, I got to see Nobuo Uematsu himself in _person_, and they had a giant screen which projected game footage, and the music was so beautiful my friend actually cried, anyone who has a chance should see it), I got really sick so I was unable to type. And, after recovering, I was remodeling my room! So, please find it in your hearts to forgive me one more time. Anyhow, as you might guess from the title, good 'ol Manny appears in this chapter (not-so-subliminal message here: REVIEW), and German translations are at the bottom, as before. Whee.**

**Chapter 2: Turnabout Karma**

That morning I was rudely awoken by Franziska, with a little assistance from her whip. "_Schnell_, Little Brother!" she snapped. "Father is coming home today!"

I bolted up quicker than Larry when a "cute girl" walked into view. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" I yelled, flustered. Franziska just sighed and left the room, whipping me one last time for good measure. I grabbed the nicest, pink suit I could find, threw it on, and ran out into the hallway to join her.

The house was in an array of chaos, it was basically a gigantic shouting match. Maids were running around , armed with towels on their feet and dustpans and brooms and whatnot in their hands, literally trying to wipe every last speck of dust away. I could hear the kitchens banging and crashing so loudly it was as if they were directly beside me. The other servants just added to the fray.

Bored, and slightly annoyed, by all the hullaballoo, I dodged the flying cleaning materials and went upstairs to Marlis' room, as I had already prepared for Mr. von Karma's arrival and my own room held nothing of even remotely interest in the first place.

Her room was much more big and lavish than mine, featuring at least 50x50 square feet, a gigantic bookcase, pink sheets and pillows and fluff and galore, and a fancy mahogany desk littered with various pictures and papers, and a huge window with a beautiful view of the countryside. Not to mention tons of snacks, a gargantuan closet filled with clothes, and a flatscreen plasma television.

Marlis was standing with her back to me, brushing Franziska's hair and humming an unfamiliar German tune. She was dressed fairly casually, for her, at least, wearing but a black dress with white, puffed up sleeves and a few frills, which, of course, would have suffocated a normal child with its formality.

Franziska, on the other hand, was practically invisible; she was basically a gigantic ball of lace, fabric, fluff, and frill. Yup. And, for some unnatural reason, it actually somewhat fit her. Somewhat.

I stepped into the room, and I must have made more noise than I intended, as Marlis noticed it immediately, turning around and, registering the person entering, smiling. "_Guten Morgen_, Miles. Sleep well? Ready to see _Vater_?" I nodded slowly in response.

Franziska scowled again, which I was beginning to assume was her default response to anything. "Father will never appreciate such a foolishly foolish fool like _you_. So _soft _and _sanft_ and _schüchtern _and just plain _töricht_—"

She was interrupted (much to her annoyance) by a loud, monotonous, wooden bang, like a dulled gunshot, echoing throughout the mansion. Everyone gasped, paused, looked at each other, _crashed_ into each other, then ran straight to the doorway from wherever they were, standing like a well-trained military regiment, in two straight lines on either side of the doorway, hands at their sides, staring straight ahead like statues.

Of course, that proved to be a huge, fatal mistake, considering that left no one to open the door. A gruff voice sounded from outside, coupled by a couple more angry bangs on the door. "_Verdammen!_ _Ist das nicht jeder gehen, diese Tür zu öffnen?!"_

Half of us gasped, the other half did a quick facepalm, and all of us began pushing and shoving in a mad rush to get to and open the door. It was kind of ridiculous, really. Being much more agile and lithe than the servants, Marlis maged to squeeze through the bickering crowd and force the big oaken door open, causing the rest of the household to snap back to attention.

The door swung open to reveal a multitude of servants, all carrying various suitcases, and a middle-aged man who was obviously Manfred von Karma standing in the front, dressed in a sharp blue suit, his hair graying, clutching an absurdly large cane. And his eyes were those of one who had nothing to lose and everything to gamble, and had done so many times.

The eyes of the devil.

He stepped forward, handing his coat to the nearest maid, who ran off like she was carrying a nuclear warhead or something. He surveyed me up and down intently, not showing any hint of emotion. "_So… Miles Edgeworth… Gregory's sohn_…" he murmered thoughtfully, stroking his chin in thought.

"Yes, yes, that's me—"

"_Schwein! _Did I instruct for you to respond?!" he thundered, raising his cane furiously.

Then he brought it straight down, inducing a sharp crack in the air.

My head instantly erupted in flames. I screamed, recoiling and falling to the ground, clutching my head. It was moist, there was blood. I could hear gasping and muttering, presumably from the servants, wanting but unable to help. Through the blur and tears welling up in my eyes, I could see Franziska flinching and Marlis dashing toward me, cradling my head and yelling at ther father, who just grunted and motioned for one of the servants to follow him as he brushed past us and stomped down the hallway.

Then I blacked out.

__________________________________

When I came to, the first thing I noticed was the pain, a giant, throbbing, pain, like I had drank a year's worth of whiskey, then went for a couple spins on the merry-go-round.

The room, which seemed to be Marlis', was dark and strangely seemed to be much colder, ghastly, so much that it was as if a phantom was ready to appear and whisk you off to some deserted hell. She herself was there, crying and looking distinctly relieved at my recovery, accompanied by a sighing Franziska (who was nearly as annoyed as relaxed, as opposed to the usual reversed positions of the two adjectives) and a couple of doctors who were scribbling randomly like mad on various sheets of paper.

Franziska's face quickly changed from a (rare) smile to a disapproving frown. "_Blöd_, _töricht __kleinen Bruder_… Talking out of line like that to Father; you must have a death wish. _Nie_, under any circumstances whatsoever, pull something that boneheaded again." She growled, whipping me softly (for once) for good measure, inciting a nod of agreement from Marlis.

I shuddered and nodded quickly. I had never been very religious: Mother had been a Christian before she succumbed to her illness, or so Dad had claimed, but after she had died, Father lost interest, and with him, so did I. But I was now almost positive that a Devil existed, and I had stared directly into his eyes.

________________________________

_Schnell: Hurry_

_Guten Morgen: Good Morning_

_Vater: Father_

_sanft: gentle_

___schüchtern: shy_

___töricht: foolish_

___Verdammen!_ _Ist das nicht jeder gehen, diese Tür zu öffnen?!: Damn it! Isn't anyone going to open this door?!_

___So… Miles Edgeworth… Gregory's sohn...: __So… Miles Edgeworth… Gregory's son..._

___Schwein!: Pig!_

_Blöd_, _töricht __kleinen Bruder...: Stupid, foolish Little Brother..._

_Nie: Never_


	3. Turnabout Canine

**Ha ha, it has been a while, hasn't it...? Writing style's changed a lot, too. Well, here it is, finally off hiatus. Chapter 4 is in the works, so bear with it. Anyway, instead of a story with a definite ending, I'm changing it to more of a collection of oneshots. Hopefully that'll fit more to my work ethic… So, regarding this chapter. I'm pretty sure that the games didn't mention what kind of dog Pess is, so I took the liberty of making him a Shiba Inu. Well, at least I think Pess was a boy… Looks like I gotta play the games again. Maybe we'll get mention of Pess in Investigations, eh? Anyway, enjoy!**

**Turnabout Canine**

I heard a bark coming from down the hall that morning as I woke up. Like that of a dog, a puppy. The von Karmas didn't keep a dog, I knew that much for sure. Mr. von Karma sure didn't like animals at all, Marlis was too busy with school and such to keep a pet, and Franziska probably had never even seen a dog.

I threw on my pink bathrobe and poked my head out the door. The halls were deserted. Even the light streaming through the window showed that it couldn't have been past eight o' clock. I looked left, right, then left again: still no sign of anyone.

Shrugging it off, I returned inside, dismissing it as a figment of imagination. I lay back down, my head resting on my hands. The ceiling had an interesting pattern, to be sure. As I rolled back up into a ball, preparing to sleep again, I heard the same bark once more, although it was accompanied by a hiss and a quick hush.

Now positive the noises weren't all in my head, I walked back into the hallway, my eyes darting back and forth for any sign of life. Once more, there were none, but I swore I could have heard slighted breathing.

Followed by the dulled crack of a whip.

Trying to withhold a laugh of my own, I tiptoed past the multitude of doors, making no noise at all, and banged open the last door, Marlis', with one swift motion. Franziska was sitting on the ground, glaring at her sister and muttering "fool" under her breath. Marlis looked up at me, smiling innocently and attempting to hide something behind her back. "_Guten morgen_, Miles," she chirped. Did you sleep well?"

I raised an eyebrow uncertainly. "Um… Yes…?" I replied. "And you?"

"Fine, fine," she said quickly. "Why don't we all go downstairs, and the three of us can have breakfast together?" I nodded. "Wonderful! How about _pfannkuchen_, how does that sound?"

I smirked, pointing at her. "Yes, that's all well and good, but first I'd like to see what's hiding behind your back."

Franziska sighed heavily, as did her sibling, bringing out a ball of brown fur from behind her back. The latter smiled, defeated, as she held it out to me. "You may not know it is, Miles, but… _Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag_."

I blinked. I had no idea. Birthdays were trivial things, not worth remembering. "Thank you," I replied slowly as I took the animal from her, which promptly rolled over in my arms, all four legs up, and barked happily.

"It's a dog, a Shiba Inu, five months old" Marlis said. "Franziska and I picked him out for you ourselves. He was abandoned, so we felt rather sorry for it. His name is Pess."

"Pess…" I said softly. "Yes, he's perfect. Thank you, both of you."

He reached up, paws on my chest, and licked me happily.

* * *

We gathered outside in the warm air of June. Pess, free at last, ran around barking like mad, frolicking about in the grass. Marlis sat back, content to simply watch the scene, while Franziska and I followed it around, laughing and tussling with it.

After a while, Marlis put her hand to her lips, whistling shrilly and catching our attention. She motioned for us to come to her, and we ran back, though Franziska slipped and fell in the mud, her hands flying about wildly for any sort of a handhold. "Miles, why don't you try teaching Pess some tricks? I'm sure it'll be good fun, and it'll build discipline as well," she said, smiling.

I thought for a moment. "Uh… Ok, sure." I turned to the dog, who barked and stared at me patiently, its tongue lolling about. "Um…Roll over." The dog cocked its head to the side, panting.

"I said roll over." Still no response.

I paused. "Ok, it looks like that isn't going to work…" I swore I could see it nod and smile. "How about… Shake?" I said, holding out my hand. It licked it.

As I continued naming tricks to no avail, Franziska rummaged around in the duffel bag and surfaced with a ball and some treats, one of which I took and held in the air just above its reach. "Uh… Fetch!" I yelled, throwing the ball as far as I could.

It landed a few yards away with a dull thud. Pess barely gave it a second glance, choosing instead to lick me.

I laughed, struggling to get it off me, much to the amusement of the girls. "Hey, hey, get off! If you want to the treat, go get the ball!" I said, holding out the food in one hand and pointing at the ball with the other. Finally getting the message, it bounded off with a yip and took the ball in its mouth, depositing it and a veritable river of saliva in my hand. I held the ball up with two fingers as if it were one of Franziska's dolls.

"Uh… Good boy!" I said uncertainly, giving it a good scratch behind the ears and tossing the treat in the air, which Pess promptly leaped up and grabbed in its teeth, devouring it in a single gulp.

Marlis laughed. "I think that Pess grabbing _behandelt _out of the air is much more impressive than fetching a ball. See if you can do more complicated jumps and throws."

Franziska cracked her whip with a frown. "Little brother, when is it going to be my turn?"

I scooped up Pess and ran for it, dodging the lashes of the whip and laughing. "Not a chance! Pess and I are going to have a lot of fun together!" He barked happily and licked me once more.

_Guten Morgen- Good morning_

_Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag- Happy Birthday_

_Behandelt- treats_


	4. Turnabout Boyfriend

**First off, I would like to clarify for all the yaoi Edgeworth shippers that the chapter title does NOT in ANY way concern our protagonist. On that note, here we do see the introduction of a character that will most likely be appearing rather often in the future. I hope you like him, because I'm not going to change him. That said, yes, this was a quick update. You're welcome. Enjoy!**

**Turnabout Boyfriend**

That Sunday was just like any other. As usual, I was the first to wake up. As usual, I went over to Franziska's room, and woke her up by flipping on her radio. As usual, she hit me with a pillow and a groan, rolling over and reaching for her whip. I was getting better and better at dodging it, but then again, she was getting better at cracking it.

After she was finally awake, we proceeded down the stairs two at a time, past the vast ballroom, through the main kitchen, and into the personal kitchen, a small one used only by we children, something you'd find in any old house, not the big professional kitchen for the cooks.

Franziska, able to cook surprisingly well, whipped up three servings of Eggs Benedict with green onions. We ate ours and laid out a bowl of dog food for Pess, but the third plate quickly went cold as we ate. It was unusual to see Marlis not up yet: Mr. von Karma made it a point to wake up early in his house, and it was already past nine-fifteen.

We cleaned out our dishes and laid them in the sink, and still Marlis did not show up. Concerned, we brushed our teeth and changed as quickly as possible, then sprinted toward her room. When we got there, we paused, out of breath, ready to open the door, but we heard not one, but two voices inside. They were too low to make out, but they certainly didn't sound hostile, so I breathed a sigh of relief.

Franziska and I looked at each other. She nodded and turned the doorknob slowly, noiselessly opening the door just a crack. I moved to the side and peered in, Franziska resting her chin on my head and doing the same. It was dark inside, so we waited a few seconds until our eyes adjusted to the light.

Marlis sat on the bed, as did a black-haired boy who looked roughly the same age as her. She rested her hand on his arm as he ran his hand through her silky silver hair, and they stared into each other's eyes wordlessly, their faces, dark red, just about touching. Franziska gasped quietly, and I raised my eyebrows.

He held her chin, and she stroked his cheek, and their lips met.

They stayed that way for a while. Father had told me a bit about this sort of thing before passing, but nothing could have prepared me for this. At last, Franziska couldn't help letting out a squeal, and they broke apart in surprise. Marlis got up and flung open the door before we had a chance to react, and we crashed to the ground. She was blushing, hard. "What- What are you two doing?!"

The boy laughed, scratching the back of his neck and getting up. "Ha, I guess we're busted, huh?" He put his hand up, silencing her blustering. "Trying to keep them quiet won't do anything. Besides, it's not their fault now is it? It's not like we told them I was staying over." He extended his hand with a good-natured grin, helping us up. "I don't believe we've met before...? Well, in that case, I'm Nietzche, Adel Nietzche, seventeen years old, Marlis' classmate and _boyfreund_." She blushed at these words. "You must be Franziska, and you, Miles, correct?" We nodded in reply. "Marlis does nothing all day but talk about you two. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

We both cracked a smile at this. I had a hunch we were going to be seeing a lot of this guy, and quite obviously that was going to be a lot of fun.

"Oh, I've got a great idea. Marlis and I were going to go out today, but we didn't know where. Why don't we all go to the park, and then we can go out for _mittagessen_? How does that sound?" Adel said, snapping his fingers and grinning. Franziska and I nodded vigorously in agreement. Marlis had no choice to agree, whether she wanted to or not. He laughed. "All right, it's settled, then. _Laß uns gehen_!" We practically flew down the stairs and out the door, taking about two seconds to throw on our coats and shoes, and ran ahead, yelling at our sister and her boyfriend to hurry up.

* * *

As soon as we reached the park, I leapt onto the seesaw and yelled for someone to get on the other end. Adel and Franziska came up, the former panting and out of breath from carrying the latter on his shoulders. She slid off and got on. She frowned: it was clear that there was no way she could hope to lift me at her weight. "Big brother, come here and help me," she commanded matter-of-factly.

As he, Marlis, and Pess came up, I glared across the bar at her. "And why is it that you call him 'Big Brother' after just meeting on him while you've known me for years and still insist on calling me 'Little Brother'…"

She smirked. "You be quiet, Miles Edgeworth." Adel placed Pess on Franziska's side. Still nothing, it was my turn to smirk, though I only had the courage to do so because Franziska had forgotten her whip in the rush. Smiling, Adel himself got on, though he merely pressed down with his foot, and I went three feet in the air in roughly .0006 seconds.

Then, as quick as he had placed his foot on, he took it back. I went down, hard. My behind was stinging like mad, my eyes were watering up, Marlis was all over me, Adel was trying to help as best he could, and, naturally, Franziska stood back, mouthing "you got what you deserved, _little brother_."

For the next few minutes, an irate Marlis furiously lectured Adel, who was cowering and begging for forgiveness. I, having been given first aid, couldn't help laughing along with Franziska. Then, faking another burst of pain and tears, the two came over, like concerned parents or something. Surprising Adel, I leapt up and began chasing him around the playground. He acted scared, but anyone could tell it was all in good fun, and he allowed himself to be caught, dragging me down and wrestling with me on the ground.

* * *

We played around for an hour or so, then, tired, set out to find a restaurant. In front of me was Franziska, who was walking Pess, and behind me were Marlis and Adel, the latter sipping coffee and placing his free arm around the former's neck, she putting her head on his shoulder. Personally, I didn't see how anyone could walk like that.

Adel pointed to a small shop across the street. I couldn't make out the sign: after all, it was in Chinese. Apparently, you can eat Chinese food in Germany. You learn something new every day, I suppose. He held open the door, letting us all in under his arm. He let the door close behind him and hurried us all inside, smelling the food with a grin and some drool.

A waiter appeared and showed us to our table, then asked for something in Chinese. Adel translated, asking us what we wanted to drink. Franziska wanted tea, I asked for lemonade, and Marlis simply wanted water. Adel gave them our orders, which the man jotted down on his notepad and left with. "You speak Chinese?" I asked, surprised, as we pulled the chairs back and sat down.

"Yeah," he replied, taking chopsticks from a red envelope and snapping them apart. "My dad's German, but my mom is from China. They met during World War III, when the Russians swept south. A lot of the Chinese fled, and my mother crossed into Vietnam, which, as you know, was fighting back with the help of the Germans and the Americans. My father was serving at the time, and the rest is pretty predictable."

Marlis raised her eyebrows, blushing as she prepared and cleaned her own chopsticks. "You never told me that."

"You never asked."

Eating _dim sum_- I hadn't tried it before, and certainly won't again. It's where a bunch of waiters and waitresses pile a bunch of small servings of different foods onto carts and go around the tables shouting out what they carry. When they pull up, you ask for what you want. As I soon found out, the food itself is delicious, but it's no fun unless you speak Chinese yourself. If you don't, the waiters have to open every single little container, and then you either point to it or attempt to tell them what you want in English- chances are the latter won't go so well. Adel ended up ordering different stuff himself for each of us after interrogating us as to our tastes.

Franziska, on the other hand, found out almost immediately that she did not enjoy Chinese food. We left as soon as we could, hoping the management wouldn't notice the dark, discolored stain on the floor until we were long gone.

_boyfreund- boyfriend_

_mittagessen- lunch_

_laß uns gehen- let's go_


	5. Turnabout School Day

**First off, I would like to clarify that I have NEVER seen a German school, much less study one, so the school seen here is actually based off my school, and American one. Anyway, here we see the introduction of Miles' first friend. I highly doubt that they will end up in a relationship, to all you Edgey shippers, and if I do end up going in that direction, it will not be permanent in any way. Though I do like the fight scene in this chapter, because it kind of fulfills my fantasies of beating up my own bullies, I'm not so sure Miles would get into a fight like that. On that note, please review, I haven't gotten one since chapter one and need some feedback on how I'm doing and the directions I should take. Regardless, enjoy!**

**Turnabout School Day**

Marlis worried far too much. After years of living with her, he knew at least that much. It was not that hard to pack a few notebooks, pencils, erasers, textbooks, a sharpener, glue, colored pencils, pens, and a bit more of the same into a simple bag. But, naturally, Marlis had to make a big fuss over the littlest thing.

"Y- You're sure you have everything, Miles? Sixth grade is not as easy as it sounds! W-What about a 3-inch _bindemittel_?"

"For the last time, Marlis, I have checked everything over multiple times. I have found everything satisfactory, and have no need of your worrying to cause me to think otherwise. I appreciate your concern, but for the ninth time, and I have been counting, I have absolutely everything I need."

"But…!"

I opened the door and looked back with a smile, letting Franziska out under my arm. "Goodbye, _schwester_."

As I turned around and took a step down the stairs, I heard her gasp. "Miles, you forgot your lunch!"

I blinked and froze mid-step. Glaring at the smirking Franziska, I muttered "Don't you _dare _judge me" under my breath and sprinted back up the stairs, grabbing the paper bag and trying my best not to look at her. "Uh, yeah… Thanks… Bye…" I blushed and ran away from the mansion as fast as I could.

The school was rather normal- one story, the stench of mops and artificial cleaning products everywhere, three divisions, twelve grade levels. Franziska, being much younger than I, went off to the second grade class (she skipped a few levels), while I made my way through the dull, winding, white halls to the a door with a sign reading "6-2" and entered it, sliding the door open with a squeak.

The room, decorated with various stereotypical autumn elements, was filled with groups of kids. There was a gaggle of laughing girls in the corner, showing off their make-up and fingernails and whatnot. In the opposite corner were a gang of boys, all lean and mean, talking about some sort of sport and swearing. The desks housed smaller groups, about three student groups each.

Much like what I would have done back in America, I sat down in an empty desk by myself, putting my elbows crossed on the surface and resting my head in my arms. In fact, I half expected Larry and Phoenix to show up, grinning like idiots as always and/or arguing over something petty. No such thing happened: ten minutes passed, and the teacher came in and took roll. She was young, perhaps in her thirties, with blonde hair and a smiling face. She looked nice enough, so that was one check off my list of worries.

Homeroom came and went, we did nothing but get-to-know-each-other games. I didn't participate and simply watched. The teacher seemed to understand well enough, but a few of those girls were whispering amongst themselves and pointing at me as if I couldn't see them doing it.

As I walked down the hall to my next class, Advanced SS/LA, or Humanities in America, two of them approached me, looking me over as if I were from another planet. "Hey, you with the silver hair," one of them said, "Why don't you ever talk? Are you stupid or something?"

I smiled, turning to face them. "On the contrary, I simply choose to associate only with people worth my attention, and that overlaps with people who are actually able to comprehend intelligent, higher thinking."

They stared at me. "…What?"

I smiled and let out a small chuckle, holding my head in my hand. "It means that I only talk with people whose Intelligence Quotients are higher than their ages."

They paused for a few seconds longer, then they seemed to get it, and got red in the face. One grabbed me by the scruff of my neck. "Hey, if you haven't noticed, we've got, like, a bunch of friends, all good at sports and stuff, and you're all alone. You wanna say that again?!"

Despite my situation, I couldn't stop myself from pushing it. "Frankly, being such an efficiency freak myself, I'd rather not, but if you were still yet unable to understand it, then I shall, though I doubt it would amount to anything taking into consideration your mental capacity."

Again, they didn't understand a word I said, but at least they had enough logic to tell I was insulting them once more. The other one whistled for the cavalry, while the first threw a wide left hook right at my head. I dropped like a stone, putting my hands in my pockets as I twisted away, smirking. She whined. "Like, fight back already!"

"I'd rather not. I make it a policy not to fight women, though in your case I'm starting to rethink it. What's that lump between your legs?"

Naturally, the insult being of a more risqué nature, she got it instantly and practically leapt on top of me, pinning me to the ground at the neck. "If you don't, like, shut up right now, I'm gonna make you shut up!"

"And pray tell how you would do that? Give me 'like, the worst nail job in, like, the history of the world?" I said, using a high-pitched voice to mock her.

Agitated, she howled and pulled back her fist. I took the opportunity to introduce her stomach to my knee, planting it right where I knew it would hurt the most. My prediction accurate, she fell back, gasping for air. As both the rest of them and a couple of teachers rounded the corner, I threw on my hood and sprinted to Humanities.

That class went fairly well. Because it was advanced placement, the class was filled with people of my caliber. Still, while the rest of the class was learning German World War II history, I was writing historical fiction about the period with entirely accurate facts. The teacher was so impressed he asked if he could keep it and send it to a publisher friend of his.

The next class, physical education, was rather awkward, as sixth graders and on were required to change into specific gym clothes in the public lockers with no sort of privacy. I did so in the corner, not wanting to be within twenty feet of the now-shirtless smelly, muscled playboys. After that, however, was fine. The school year, no matter what grade you were in, always started with a dance unit, and unlike last year's line dancing, we were doing ballroom dancing, specifically waltzes. I was paired with a carefree brunette from the previous class, a smart girl named Elena. We caught on quickly, and the teacher told us that we were the best pair in the class.

Next was mathematics. This was also advanced- while the rest of the sixth grade was doing an easy unit on probability, we were doing algebra. It was fine, mostly an introductory test designed to pinpoint the class level. Most finished in under two minutes, bypassing our expectations by far.

Finally, it was lunchtime. I sat down at a relatively out-of-the-way table on the far end by myself. Inside my lunchbox was a container of _maultaschen_, similar to Italian ravioli, a _berliner_, something like a doughnut, a small _brötchen_, or bread roll, and a can of _apfelschorle_, apple juice and carbonated water. I ate alone for a few minutes, having been prepared to do so for the entire period, but Elena came up and sat down across from me, unpacking her lunch with a smile. "_Hallo_, Miles," she said, taking a sip of water. "How's it going?"

"…Fine," I said, slightly confused. "…And you?"

"Great! I just love school, you know? After all that summer vacation, it so refreshing. It's so different, too, the transition between fifth and sixth grade. And what's great is that we get a longer lunch period this year! Last year we barely got to eat at all, right? And now, since we're in sixth grade, we get to take advanced placement. It's a lot better than getting stuck with all those stupid people. Don't you think?"

"Uh… Yeah. Ditto."

She smiled, tilting her head to the side and blushed. "You want to be friends?"

I blushed also, though I tried to hide it by taking another bite of my food, though that resulted in me choking and beating my chest to dislodge the piece. "Uh…" I coughed, rubbing my neck. "Yeah, I'd like that a lot."

We both smiled.


	6. Turnabout Turnabout

**Sorry it took so long to update. This was mostly due to the fact that I was writing the trial mindlessly, without an ending planned. In fact, I just came up with the ending, finishing writing it today. Sorry if the ending is kind of repetitive, since something similar happened back in chapter two. Please forgive me, and enjoy!**

**Turnabout Turnabout**

That afternoon we were all called into Mr. von Karma's study. We stood at attention in a straight line, not daring to blink, even Adel. He sat there for what seemed like an eternity, wiping down his reading glasses. He inspected them, then, satisfied with their cleanliness, he turned to face us.

"The past few months, I have been giving the two of you," he said, glancing at Franziska and me in turn, "lessons of the court, and you have both performed extremely well. Today, unlike our past exercises, you will both be acting as prosecutors and going up against your older sister for defense. Feel free to do as you wish regarding witnesses."

He handed Adel a white binder. "I trust that you will be acting as fair and impartial judge…?" Adel flinched and nodded vigorously. "A wise choice. You will find testimony and proceedings scripted out in that file." Getting up out of his chair with a grunt, he placed his hands behind his back and stared out the window. "Dismissed." We filed out of the room one by one. Franziska and I were last, and he stopped us by calling our names, not bothering to look at us. "I expect nothing less of perfection. Crush her."

We looked at each other, nodded, and sprinted out of the room to follow our sister and soon-to-be brother.

* * *

Flipping through the files with a confused look on his face, Adel brought the gavel down to silence the "gallery". "Uh…" he said, peering at his script. "C-Court is now in session. Is the defense ready?" We nodded in unison, Franziska cracking her whip for emphasis. Marlis did the same. "Good. The trial of State VS Strife is now in session. Will the prosecution please outline the basics of the case to the court?"

"Gladly," I said, paraphrasing off of a piece of paper on the desk, ignoring Franziska kicking me under the table. "Last night, on the outskirts of the city, the defendant and the victim were walking into town, but police received a distress call at around eleven. There were multiple witnesses, all claiming they saw the accused stab the victim with a sword-like object. There were no other items matching this description in the vicinity, the only possible thing that could have matched descriptions was a weapon called a Buster Sword the accused keeps. To start, the prosecution calls the defendant to the stand so as to verify these accounts."

Adel nodded as he matched up my account with his papers, exerting an exaggerated, aged sigh. "Very well, then. No objections from the defense?" Marlis thought for a moment, then shook her head. "Then let the defendant take the stand!"

As he winked for a cue, Elena emerged from the adjoining room, poking at her hair, which had been applied with excessive amounts of gel earlier to make the role-playing a bit more realistic, complete with rather loose cargo pants and a very oversized thermal-based shirt. She looked at her script for a moment. "Um…" she said, looking for her line. We waited. "Aha!" exclaiming as she pointed with her finger. With a loud cough, she cleared her throat in preparation.

"…"

Adel blinked. "Uh… Prosecution…? A little help?" he said nervously.

Franziska tried to whip Elena, but her crop wasn't long enough. "Defendant! Please state your name and occupation for the record!" she said loudly.

"…Cloud Strife. Mercenary."

The whole makeshift courtroom was in silence at this point.

"Is that all…?" Both Adel and I asked, though I was sweating nervously as I did so.

Elena shuffled through her script again, thumbing through the pages rapidly in search. She traced out the prompts with her fingers, whispering each aloud to herself as she ran over them. "Uh…" Her eyes lit up, presumably finding her prompt, or possibly no prompt at all, and she cleared her throat. "What else would you have me say? You asked for my name and occupation," she pointed out in a deep voice.

"Fine, then," Franziska frowned, slapping her brand-new riding crop (I had given it to her for her sixth birthday, as I had deemed her whip too long for her height- later, as I found out firsthand, a big mistake) against the table for good measure. "Defendant! Testify about the conditions of that night!"

Pulling the neck of her shirt down in an effort to make herself heard, Elena sifted through her papers for testimony. "So be it. We were… Entering the city that night. Zack… Er, the victim was driving us on a motorcycle, his own. All of a sudden, we were stopped by paramilitaries, right outside the gates. They gunned him down for no reason I could see. He died protecting me, fighting with his sword, but all I could do was run, into the city… There I was pulled over by more of them, and dragged in here."

"Defense…?" Adel asked, tugging at his fake beard again and wrinkling his nose. "Is that fine with you…?"

Marlis nodded, a confidence blazing in her eyes the likes of which I had never seen in her before. "Of course. That testimony is exactly what I plan to prove in the course of this trial. Because of that, there is no reason to cross-examine. She- Er, he- is telling the truth."

"Oh, we'll see about that," I replied, again taking the chance before Franziska was able to, flipped through the court record, and wagged my finger mockingly as Mr. von Karma had taught me. "The prosecution calls to the stand Mr. John Doe, one of the aforementioned paramilitaries!"

Taking her cue once more, Elena disappeared to get changed into another outfit, leaving the rest of us in awkward silence. Adel scratched the back of his head, wincing. "So, uh… Nice weather we're having…"

"Yeah…"

"Sure."

"Anyone could see that, fool."

Thankfully, Elena reappeared, dressed in a green scarf and a large metal mask. She flipped through her script for the umpteenth time to reaffirm her lines, then straightened up. "Captain John Doe, Shinra group. I stopped the victim the other night from entering the city. It's a long story- care to hear it?"

Franziska nodded, brandishing her crop menacingly. "Each and every little detail, witness, or you might find yourself in a world of pain." She leered at him/her with all the force her little six-year old eyes could muster, though that didn't affect much of anything.

Elena, or in this case, Mr. Doe, leaned back and closed his eyes, the better to remember the events and her lines. "I was on patrol that night. See, the victim was wanted for theft, so when I saw his face, I called down the rest of my boys and we went charging at him. When he saw us, he jumped off his bike and got into a fighting stance with that fancy blade of his. We was about to arrest him, but when he saw how outmatched he was, he turned and runs, and Mr. Defendant over there all with him. They seemed like they was arguing over something real angry-like, and all of a sudden Blondie stabs Blackie by stealing his sword. He seemed bloodthirsty, so we loads a tranquilizer and shoots him down." She picked her nose, really getting into the part, and looked at Adel. "Good enough for Your Honor?"

"Fine, fine," Marlis interrupted impatiently. "What exactly do you mean by 'arguing?"

"I said what I mean and I mean what I said. They was yelling at each other loud. Couldn't hear precious much about it, but from what I made out, it seemed to be about fighting us troops, Blondie for it and Blackie against it. I suppose the situation was so urgent for 'em it might well have come to murder. Say, don't that mean it wasn't self-defense?"

Adel tried to simulate the gallery's murmuring, but all we heard was Pess' barking. A thought came to mind- Mr. von Karma must have been showing us how to set traps within testimony. Grinning, I glanced over at Marlis, but it quickly dissipated. She was completely unfazed, as if she had saw the trap but triggered it intentionally to show us how it was done. I shuddered to think of how good my adopted father and sister were at their respective professions.

"Quite so, witness," Marlis began, smirking, "But if that's the case there's a gigantic flaw in the testimony." Both Franziska and I gaped on at her, as we couldn't imagine anything possibly wrong in that testimony. "It's a simple one, but a big one nonetheless. Both yours and the defendant's testimonies have stated the victim was driving and was the only one with a weapon. If the victim was against fighting, why was he the one to jump off and 'assume a fighting stance'? _Einspruch_!!"

Elena gasped, fired up, and practically tore up her script for an answer. She looked through each and every page for a reply, every second building up my anxiety, but to no avail. Confused, she turned to Adel. "What do I do if Marlis has an objection that doesn't match up with any of the prompts?"

He looked up from the perusing of his own copy and shrugged nervously. "It only lists the three possible objections here. I guess you're supposed to make up your own rebuttal, Franziska, Miles."

Franziska frowned. "But doesn't that mean Papa didn't think of this one?"

"Well, if you think about it that way, I guess so…"

Still frowning, she slumped back to think, as did I, but no matter how much I did, nothing that would save us came to mind. "Well…" I said, biting my lip. "You see, ergo, it is imperative that we understand that, assuming that we, are, in fact, able to, you know, do-"

I got no further in speaking, as the ground suddenly began to shake.

"_Erdbeben_!" someone yelled. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. I saw a few bricks falling. I saw Adel leaping up and diving, covering Marlis with his whole body. I saw a chair collapsing. I saw Franziska ducking under the table, Elena with her. But I, I was powerless to move, memories of the elevator, that cursed elevator flooding my mind, and I blacked out.

* * *

When I came to, I was lying in a hospital bed. My head felt like it had been hit with a brick (which I later learned to be the truth), but I ignored the pain and sat up, though I was nearly tackled back down again by a sea of bodies. When the dust cleared, a number of faces hovered around mine, all visibly showing relief, though in some, namely Franziska, it was much harder to make out.

"Thank goodness you're alright, Miles," Marlis exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "We were all so worried!"

Adel nodded in confirmation. "The doctor even told us you were comatose. Good thing it didn't last very long, huh?"

I nodded as well, though I winced in pain as I did so. "Yeah. More importantly, how did the trial end?"

Elena laughed, reaching her head back to do so better. "We thought you might say that, so we finished the trial right here. Marlis actually won!"

As I heard this, I spit out the water I was taking a drink of and stared at Marlis incredulously. "Excuse me?! There's no way you could've won against Mr. von Karma's scenario! He even told us it was impossible to win!"

Franziska crossed her arms moodily. "For what Papa knows, we did win."

Confused, I blinked for a moment, then sighed in relief. Then, I noticed a cast on Adel's arm and confronted him about it. "How'd you hurt your arm?"

He held it up to the light. "Oh, this is nothing. I got it when a bar fell on my forearm while I was protecting your sister over here." She blushed as he flexed his arm proudly. "Think of it as a badge of honor!"

Franziska snorted. "More like a badge of an overinflated ego."

At this, everyone in the room laughed, most likely because of the irony of who said it.

_Einspruch- Literally "opposition", but this is what Capcom used for "objection" in the German versions of Ace Attorney._

_Erdbeben- Earthquake_


	7. Turnabout Wedding

**This chapter's kind of short, apologies for that. I don't really have too much else to say for this one. Although, on a whole, this is going rather fast, I'm placing Edgeworth at around eighth grade in this chapter. That means he's fourteen-ish here, making Franziska (if I'm correct on their age relation) about seven, half his age. For such a small kid, she really exerts a lot of power, doesn't she? Anyway, enjoy!**

**Turnabout Wedding**

Finding our seats, Franziska and I sat down next to Elena, thankfully not interrupting anything. We were very, very late, due to Marlis refusing to wake us up despite oversleeping by a long shot, but we were just in time for the vows. I couldn't see too much of Adel, thanks to his very tall mother sitting directly in front of me, but I was able to see the very sharp, sleek black tuxedo he was wearing. Across from him stood Marlis, dressed in a simple, yet elegant, white dress. The two were facing each other and holding hands while the priest behind him spoke in that stereotypical monotone.

"Do you," he droned, "Adel Matthias Nietzche, take Marlis von Karma for your lawfully wedded wife from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, until Death do you part?"

A smile the likes of which I had never seen him with was clearly visible as he gave his confident answer. "_Ich tun_."

Sensing the crowd's apprehension, the priest wisely decided to take a shorter route, turning to our sister. "And do you, Marlis von Karma, agree to what I just asked him?" He jerked his head at Adel good-naturedly, inciting a ripple of muffled laughter from the congregation.

She nodded, blushing. "_Ich tun._"

Smiling, the priest put his hand on theirs. "Then I proclaim you husband and wife." The crowd exploded into cheers, standing up and clapping so loud it felt very well near like an earthquake to me. With a few more prayers and blessings, the mass was over and done with, and everyone piled outside to get good parking for the reception.

Elena got us a ride with her family, and in a few short minutes the three of us ran into what seemed like a dream. Pink and white flowers were strewn everywhere in the outdoor pavilion, on the Greek pillars, on the food-laden tables, on the domed transparent roof. Marlis and Adel were in the center of the pavilion, swarmed by guests offering congratulations to the couple. There would be plenty of time to spend with them later, so we went off to get our food, for it was actually very well near twelve o' clock noon.

We ran over to the line and got in it before it got any longer, picking up our plates, silverware, and napkins as we fell in order. Naturally, there was a very large assortment of both traditional Chinese and German delicacies laden from edge to table edge, and Franziska, having an appetite to match her ego, picked much from both. Elena raised her eyebrow, shrugged, and loaded her plates with various health foods. Vegetables, mostly. I never really did understand her. I myself spotted some Steel Samurai shaped cookies and filled my plate with them. And a sausage for good measure.

Balancing my cookies carefully, I joined my sister and friend at the table they sat at alone, tearing at their foodstuffs like very, very hungry wolves, and joined in doing the same. Crumbs were flying about with such velocity that it nearly prevented the sitting down of the newlyweds.

Adel reached forward with his leg and pulled back a chair for his wife, sat down himself, and enlisted her help in unloading his cargo, for he had been, in addition to carrying two plates in his hand, balancing four plates in total on his arms, a seventh on his head, and utensils in his teeth, and with said utensils had, despite Marlis' protesting, carried her plate on them. His face was completely red from effort, and a breathed a large sigh of relief when all eight were at last set back down upon the table.

As he began devouring everything in sight, Elena looked to Marlis as she finished up her food. "Congratulations, you two!" she said happily. Marlis returned the sentiment with a nod and a smile, while Adel nodded slightly as he took a gulp. "Say, when you have a baby, can I be the godmother?"

Midway through his inhaling of food when this was spoken, Adel promptly froze and retched, Marlis raising an uncertain eyebrow at both Elena and her husband. "Um…" she paused for a moment, then flashed a nervous smile, sweat visible on her face. "Sure, why not…?"

Adel let out a cough.

Reaching up to dab away at the last traces of bits on her lips, Franziska set her fork and knife down, finishing in a rather polite way. "On that subject," she said, taking a sip of water and causing Adel to swallow, hard. "In the situation you find yourself with a child, I should like to respectfully submit a suggestion for a name for said child."

I tried to suppress the urge to guffaw. "And pray tell what that would be…?"

She glared at me, then turned her attention back to our sister and brother-in-law. "I would enjoy having a niece that carries the name Franziska von Kar- er, Franziska Nietzche II."

Thankfully, Elena was the one to let in to laughing, which resulted in the lash of Franziska's well-used riding crop, though with years of practice Elena dodged with minimal effort. "Pfft! I'd love to see that!" she snorted, still laughing. As she sobered up, she turned back to Franziska, who was still in a touchy mood. "So then, what happens if you get a nephew instead?"

Franziska thought for a moment. "After the royal, majestic bird, Phoenix."

It was my turn to snort, thinking of my long-gone friend from the fourth grade, though I wasn't so lucky in avoiding the sting. "I've only known one person to be called that, and it only fit him because of his personality. It sounds more like a name fit for a dog."

Adel grinned, finally finished with his meal, though unlike Franziska he rejected the manner of careful mouth-wiping. "What a coincidence. We were just thinking of getting a dog. We'll call the thing Phoenix, then," he said as he reached back and plucked a bottle off of a waiter's serving tray, popping it open swiftly and taking a long drink.

Marlis leaned over and read the label on the bottle, then gasped and swiped the bottle away, much to her husband's dismay. "Adel, what are you doing?! You can't drink at our own wedding reception! Besides, there are children right here!"

"And? It's not like they haven't seen me do it before."

"That's not the point!"

"Then what is?"

As they began squabbling, Elena, confused, leaned over and whispered in my ear. "I know couples are supposed to argue, but this is just ridiculous."

I grinned back at her, dodging Marlis' hand, most likely aimed at Adel's cheek. "Nah, marriage's got nothing to do with it." I dodged another one of her slaps. "Actually, this is really quite docile for them."

Franziska joined in with our laughter.

_Ich tun- The translator I use wasn't too clear about this one. The best I can make out, it means "I do". Please correct me if I'm wrong._


	8. Turnabout Amusement

**Whee, another chapter. Dunno if anyone was looking forward to it. Thank you if you did. Anyway, kind of a generic premise this time around, but I'm getting kind of brain-dead for ideas. If you have one, please mention it in a REVIEW or something. Ah well, I'm satsfied wth the result for once. Enjoy!**

**Turnabout Amusement**

Despite her constant abuse, both verbal and physical, I cared for Franziska deeply, and that was how Elena and I ended up taking her to the new amusement park that had opened a couple blocks away from the house for her eighth birthday. This was somewhat like the old tourist attractions that were everywhere back home in Los Angeles, and after all I had spoken of them Franziska was eager to go, though her attitude certainly did not broadcast it extensively.

Because we walked, we were able to simply bypass parking, as opposed to spending minutes upon hours looking for an available space. That, and paying the outrageous fees charged for said parking space. We got in line, ordering two adult tickets and one children's, though it was quite obvious we were all children, ticket brackets were simply over fourteen and under. The cashier, a young lady with brown hair and a cheerful smile (though the bags under her eyes indicated she was clearly in a grumpy mood) bade us a good day and let us through.

The moment my eyes adjusted to the colorful lights going off left and right, Franziska took both of our hands and dragged us to the gigantic roller-coaster that had been so extensively advertised, much to Elena's excitement and my dismay. Meekly, I pointed back to a gentler ride, the whirling teacups, but she, as usual, ignored me and hopped on, taking the seat furthest to the inside. Elena gleefully climbed in, taking the center seat, and I, with a groan, occupied the outside seat.

"Franziska, do we really need to ride this one…?" I muttered dejectedly, looking sideways at her.

She smirked, making a whipping motion with her hands at me. "You are a coward, Miles Edgeworth. Just you wait. When this ride is over, you will be thanking me." Elena gave me a sympathetic smile and opened her mouth, but was cut off by some rattling chains and a sudden jerk forward.

Each clack sounding as we inched ever closer to the apex served even more to heighten my fear. My perpetual dislike of wild, dangerous things was an old one, caused by a nasty incident in my youth involving Larry and a turning play structure, but it had never hindered me much until now. Of course, that was all forgotten in the moment as we careened down with a collective scream, both the loudest I had heard and given in a very, very long time.

Up, down, left, right, sideways, forward, backward, any which way. I could barely keep up, and looking back I would observe that if I had been able to follow along I would have an even more horrific retching session. Which, after the ride ended not a moment too soon, was exactly what I proceeded to do, collapsed upon the ground centimeters from the exit. Half the people looking on laughed, the other half turned up their noses in disgust, and Franziska slapped her forehead in embarrassment, but I was far too absorbed in my own agony to care what anyone else thought of it.

Finally, I recovered, and the instant that happened Franziska turned to another roller coaster, but thankfully Elena took one look at my face and steered her to the shooting gallery. I followed behind slowly, slouching my head and back and weaving about like a drunkard. As such, by the time I caught up with the two, they were already popping caps off left and right.

I noticed the sweat trickling down the stall-keeper's face. It was quite obvious that he feared losing money, and with the combined force of my sister and friend his worries were not unfounded. He turned and pulled out a different gun from his drawers, a rifle to Franziska's pistol, and interrupted the shooting. "Hey, you're really good at this, huh? This must be far too easy for you. In fact, I've got just the thing to remedy that!" He handed over the rifle. "I never give this out, since it's too challenging for anyone else, but someone like you will ace it! Just stand on the other side of the street and shoot down this here target." He patted a bullseye with a toothy grin. "If you make it in three shots, you win a voucher for a dinner for six at any restaurant of your choice!"

She was barely listening, instead stepping back to a white line of chalk. The rifle flipped about, and with barely even a glace, she fired and hit the center immediately. The man, having dodged during the shot, gaped on as Elena gave Franziska a gigantic bear-hug. We were just about ready to leave, Franziska towing a gargantuan bag of prizes behind her, when the shopkeeper called out once again. "_Warten sie einen moment_!!!" he cried, throwing out his arm for dramatic emphasis. "One last time! Truth is, I've got something else I've never put out before! "

Sighing, I put my hand on Franziska's shoulder and started to steer her away. "Let's go, he's just trying to sucker us out of our money-"

"If you lose, you give back all your prizes-"

"See, what'd I tell-"

"But should you win, one thousand American dollars are yours!"

Elena's eyes immediately lit up and she marched Franziska right back up to the counter. "Deal, old man! Get your checkbook out, because you're going to need it real soon!" She grabbed the rifle from the counter and shoved it into Franziska's hands, pushing her back to the chalk mark. "What's your target?!"

With a sinister grin, he reached down and pulled out a bullseye so absurdly miniscule I could barely see it. Franziska thought the same, her eyes widening, but Elena merely got even more pumped up. "Three shots!" she said happily. "You can do it easy!" She gulped, nodding shakily, and fired with her best aim, but the bullet missed by over two inches. The shopkeeper grinned. "Two more!" he said along with Elena.

Another shot, missing by even more. Understandable, as Franziska was getting visibly agitated. Sensing her agony, I stepped up and tried to turn her away. "C'mon, you don't have to do this. Let's go do something else."

Angrily, she knocked my hand away, raising the gun back up. "What do you know, Miles Edgeworth?! This is a matter of pride! Now back away, before I end up putting a bullet through your head!" She pulled the trigger, even as I accidentally disrupted her shot, bringing down her arm with mine. The bullet hit a bell on the counter, ricocheted off a hanging medal, and hit the target so hard it passed straight through and dragged the thing clean down with it.

A few seconds passed, and everyone got up slowly, looking about as if in a daze. Elena, a light going off in her eyes, walked up with one of the snarkiest smirks I'd ever seen and snatched up the envelope on the counter, riffling through its content to confirm Franziska's prize. As the man looked on, gaping, she stuck out her tongue, tossed the money to Franziska, and walked away without looking back. In turn, Franziska and I looked at each other, gulped, and hurried after her.

* * *

"No," I said flatly.

"Don't be such a coward, Miles Edgeworth."

"Call me names all you like, I'm not going."

"Miles, it's just water!"

"Something I detest in large quantities."

"C'mon, do it for us!"

"…I have no bathing suit."

Franziska reached into her bag, interrupting my argument, and pulled out a pair of bright yellow swimming trunks. They dangled uselessly in the air by the hook made by her finger, acting as one giant elephant in the figurative room in the very, very awkward silence we were experiencing.

I grabbed the trunks forcefully and put my finger to Elena's half-open lips. "Not a word," I said, glaring at her mischievous eyes, and stepped into the adjacent changing room.

A few minutes later, I stood perched at the top of the waterslide, shirtless and shivering, rubbing my arms furiously. Franziska smirked on at me from below, floating languorously on the clear water far below. "Hurry up, Miles Edgeworth! We don't have all day!" she called up at me, cupping her hand around her mouth. I twitched, swearing to myself that I would do her horrible harm once I recovered from the trauma I was sure to experience.

"I'll never forgive you for this…" I muttered, grinding my teeth. Gulping, I took a tentative step forward with my toe. Then Elena, behind me, reached breaking point of impatience and pushed me forward. The lifeguard raised his megaphone and yelled at her, but I was too busy screaming to give him a second thought. Down and down I went, much like the roller coaster from before, the only difference being that torrents of water were slamming me about from every which way.

I finally managed to take a breath. Then I realized that was because there was no more water. Then I realized that was because I was in the middle of the air. I craned my neck back to catch a glimpse of the slide curving up at an obscenely steep rate, but that was interrupted by the beginnings of a freefall.

And of course, adding to the day's misfortunes, I happened to land belly first, perpendicular to the water. There was a gigantic splash, and I rose to the surface as everyone stared at me, my face submerged downwards. Elena ran off for the lifeguard, while Franziska swam over and tried to rub away the gigantic red area on my chest. Naturally, that didn't work, and the lifeguard ended giving me a couple of odd ointments and a towel. Shivering as I sat on the cold bench, I stared blankly ahead, waiting for the two to finish changing.

Out of respect to me and my aches, they finished up quickly, much to my appreciation. On the other hand, Franziska immediately grabbed my arm and led us to yet another roller coaster.


	9. Turnabout City, Part One

**This is a pretty long chapter, looking back. At least I cut it off there- this one will actually have multiple parts, the next chapter will be a continuation of this particular story. I think I like this chapter, situations of humor at Edgey's expense are always fun to write. Though I do think I'm dragging on the description at some points. On the other hand, some of the clothing might not be described enough, so I'll say it here: the costumes, in order, are a stereotypical gangster, an exercising outfit, and Squall from Final Fantasy VIII. And regarding the ending, the mention of Indian food doesn't really matter all that much, I just needed a country famous for some pretty damn spicy foods, if you want a hint. But that's all you're getting. Look forward to the next chapter, but in the meantime, enjoy this one!**

**Turnabout City, Part One**

There was a sudden shriek that came from across the hallway, one that I heard with excruciating pain to my eardrums as I was sorting through my Dynamite Samurai trading cards. Being the foolishly sentimental idiot I was, my first thought was that Franziska or Elena were being assaulted by a robber, being the middle of the afternoon, when most adults were working. Accordingly, I raced over to Franziska's door with a resounding screech and threw the door aside, prepared to unleash a flurry of Ending Winter Snow Jabs at the first unfamiliar thing I saw that moved. Instead, my decidedly stereotypically Asian screaming was greeted by the girls sitting cross-legged on the floor, a bunch of old papers scattered about on the floor and various drawers hanging open, staring at me with raised eyebrows.

They promptly burst into uncontrollable laughter, clutching their sides for the pain caused by their tearing up. I ground my teeth, attempting to utilize one of the many methods of keeping self-control and calm taught to me by Mr. von Karma, and leered at the two. "Why the scream…?" I asked with a slight growl, though I managed not to let the worst of my emotion show, which, in this case, was a mix of extreme relief and even bigger annoyance. "And why the mess?"

"We were looking around for some money, so we could buy some of Immanuel Kant's works for further, more intense study, they are apparently getting popular among the big-name scholars once again," Franziska replied in a no-nonsense tone that was becoming more and more typical as she grew older, "when we found a huge stack of bills tucked in the back of the closet. Remember the park we went to last year on my birthday, and how we put the winnings in Papa's bank account for the interest values?" I nodded and winced, still bearing scars from the pool incident.

"Turns out, there was some money we missed when we gave all the bills to Mr. von Karma. All in all, there're one-hundred and sixty dollars we have here," Elena interjected, waving her hand over the mess the two had made in their celebrations. Indeed, upon closer inspection, there were bills scattered among the documents. "Let's go out and blow it all today!"

I stared at them for a few seconds, then raised my eyebrow. "Suppose I go along with your scheme, which I probably won't. What exactly will we do with all this money?"

Elena grinned back at me. "You really don't go out often, do you? The whole point of going out is that you don't know exactly what you're doing! See the city!" I stared at her some more. She shrugged. "I dunno, catch a movie, get some food, buy some clothes, go to the park, take some pictures at all the important places. We don't have to spend everywhere, so long as we get out there."

"I have things to do. Productive things, like schoolwork, and studying to be a prosecutor, thank you very much. I'm afraid I'll have to decline your invitation."

The two began pleading with me, mostly because I was the only one of us who had a driver's permit, Mr. von Karma having had pulled some of his many available strings for my fifteenth birthday, where they normally would have let it go and went by themselves with the aid of a taxi, which in this case would have been too inconvenient and expensive for touring the city. As I was exiting, on the other hand, Franziska coughed and turned to Elena. "Say, isn't the new Dynamite Samurai Platinum edition two feet tall Action Figure with sixty points of articulation and a genuine movable Samurai Nunchaku in addition to a hand-done paint job in accordance to the never-released-outside-of-Japan sixth Dynamite Samurai movie on sale today at a release-only price of seventy-five euros?"

I froze, grabbed my jacket, and rushed to the garage as they followed, struggling to even keep me in sight. However, they did manage to keep close enough to me for me to hear them manage to whisper with agitated breath among themselves.

"How did you know about the doll?"

"Easy enough. I snuck a fan magazine out of his room for blackmail purposes when he was watching the fifth movie. He was so engrossed in the thing he didn't even notice when I dropped his gigantic box of old magazines."

"For the last time, Elena, the action figures are _not_ dolls!" I yelled over my shoulder as I swung the door open and leapt through. "And I want that magazine back, Franziska!"

* * *

Suffice to say I instantly regretted my decision to come along with the two the moment we hit the road. "Forty-six bottles of beer on the wall, forty-six bottles of beer~" Elena repeated for what seemed like the forty-sixth time. It was rather odd, for it seemed the older we got, the less mature she became, and at the very least she had been slightly mature when we had first become friends. Worse yet, somehow she had also become Franziska's second big sister, and had convinced her to join in with the infernal racket she was making for seemingly no reason other than to revel in my quickly growing annoyance.

Spurred on by the adrenaline rush from my anger, we reached downtown Berlin twenty minutes quicker than we should have. "Out, out, everybody out, we're here!" I announced, relieved to be relieved of the singing. "Alright then," I said, glancing around with my hands on my hips. "Now that we are here, what should we do first?"

Elena looked around as well, but the movement of her eyes quickly stopped, coming to a rest on my body. "A suit and cravat, Miles? Really? Is that the only sort of outfit you have?" I nodded, unsure of where she was going with this. "Haven't you the slightest idea of what's popular nowadays? We've got to do something about your fashion sense."

I flinched, taken aback. Admittedly, I was tired of the teasing I received at school over my elegance, but I was certainly not going to be degraded into wearing something like… That… _Thing_ that she was wearing. Her outfit consisted of a branded white tanktop that that reached down only to just above her navel, and a pair of ridiculously skinny denim jeans, as well as a couple jade bracelets that clinked needlessly against each other and a pair of tennis shoes that were flashy to the point of absurdity. "Sorry, but this outfit is becoming of one who is of the ultimate class of sophistication," I replied. "I'm not going to wear some loud, flashy, obscene clothing simply because it is the new fad."

She clapped me on the back, much harder than I deemed necessary, and pulled me along. "You know, Miles, it's because of old geezers like you that Germany can't get out of the twentieth century. That was antique automobiles, fancy-schamncy balls, top hats, that weird American disco fad. This is now! We've got solar cars, cures for cancer and AIDS, fully immersive three-dimensional digital entertainment. Quit being so uptight and refined! Get out there, with the times; have a little fun! Now get out of your itchy old suit and into a t-shirt and sweatshirt."

"B-but Franziska has the same kind of clothing as I do…" I protested weakly, raising a finger as she shoved me along from behind.

"She looks cute in it. Get a move on," she grinned back.

* * *

Elena mumbled to herself, tracing out the layout of the mall with her finger, as we looked over her shoulder, attempting to decipher the complex markings. "Hm… Something like… No… Oh, yeah, that works… Okay, then… Go through the… Take a right…

Up the… Through…" She stood up, grinning at us. "Okay, I've found the best store for your needs, Miles, and the quickest way to get to it. Let's go!" She marched cheerfully through the crowds, who were staring at us in bewilderment most likely because of the racket I was making, not unlike that of a small child who gets the wrong promotional toy in his fast food meal. Wisely, Franziska followed, but at a considerable distance. "It's just through that store over there," she chirped as we took one last turn.

I sighed, relieved to be nearly rid of the torturous journey, but that relief quickly dissipated into absolute mortification as I looked up. "No," I said flatly. Franziska, seeing my reaction, looked up at the sign, and promptly did all she could from bursting into tears of laughter. "_Unterwäsche der Frauen_? You have got to be kidding. I am not going through there, and that's final."

Laughing, Elena covered my eyes and tripped me up, allowing her to drag me through. She did, however, mercifully keep my eyes covered, sparing me from the surrounding horrors, although she was still quick to tease me. "C'mon, Miles, it's just a lingerie store. It's not like I'm taking you through a se-"

"Finish that sentence and you're dying a very painful death, Elena!"

Naturally, she laughed long and hard and took her hands off my eyes, using them to poke me in the forehead. "Honestly, you're so innocent, Miles. A bunch of boys in our class would kill to spend a couple minutes in here. Especially with those models on the posters over there. Like that one, look. I mean, really, with those gigantic boo-"

"The same goes for that sentence!" I quickly averted my eyes, still blushing. "Now let's hurry up and get the hell out of here!"

* * *

"Oh, _ältere schwester_," Franziska volunteered helpfully, running over and handing Elena a package of folded clothes. "I think this might work."

"Hm…" she mused, looking over the clothes as she turned around, effectively hiding them from my field of vision. "You know what? This might very well work on him," she said, turning her head and looking me over, stroking her chin thoughtfully. "Good job, squirt. And Miles, go put these on," she said, handing the bundle to me and ruffling Franziska's hair.

Five minutes later, I emerged from the changing room, shuffling out awkwardly, clad in a gray baggy pull-over sweatshirt, white cargo pants, basketball shoes, multiple gold chains, and, horror of horrors, worst of all, an awkwardly placed cap pointed backwards over the fringe of my hair. "Doubtful," Elena mused. "What do you think, Franziska?"

"I'm not so sure, either, now…" she replied. "I think we should probably try another one." They handed me another bundle of clothes they had ready, which I took dejectedly, dragging my feet back to the changing room. I tripped over the pants.

* * *

"Do we really have to try this one?" I yelled at them from the dressing room. "It looks ridiculous!" They yelled back, Franziska threatening to graffiti my imported Samurai Summer poster. Once again, I walked sullenly into the open, sporting a sleeveless shirt, green and pink athletic shorts, stupidly high socks, and a, quoth Franziska, "foolishly obnoxious" white headband. The two took one look, burst into tearful laughter, and threw me another package.

* * *

"I think I like this one," I said as I came out, striding more-or-less confidently, a tight white tee-shirt hugging my chest, and a black leather jacket with a fur-covered neck draped around my shoulders, sleeves fluttering behind. The outfit was completed by matching tight leather pants and a couple of belts, with a pair of sunglasses mounted on the top of my head to round it out. "I look pretty… What's the word, hip? _Was denken sie_?"

Elena crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "By this point, do you really have to ask?" Franziska nodded, apparently concurring. In my absence changing, a veritable mountain of clothing had appeared at their side, sitting neatly in a wooden chair. They took the top bundle off and handed it to me. Obviously, I was going to have to try every single one on. I sighed at the daunting prospect.

* * *

Doors closing behind us with a metallic swish, we walked back into the sunlight, shielding our eyes from the blazing sun. I dragged my feet behind the girls, exhausted with the extensive session of trying things on. Slowing down as she noticed me, Elena supported me, showing a sympathetic smile. "Sorry about that. I guess fancy old clothes really do suit you best. But really, that goth outfit-" she shuddered at the memory, as did I. "I'm going to have nightmares for a week. Here, I'll make it up to you, there's an _eis sahne_ shop just up ahead. I'll pay for it with my own money, so we can still do other stuff later."

"Thanks," I replied, doubtlessly visibly relieved. It was funny: she certainly was a thorn in my side at times, but she always ended up making me glad I had her for a friend. On the other hand, right on cue, Franziska piped up.

"You know, little brother, you're going to end up hating her again in a few minutes," she commented as we piled back into the car. "She made reservations at that new Indian restaurant for lunch."

I raised an eyebrow at her through the mirror. "What's wrong with that? I happen to enjoy Indian cuisine, I'll have you know."

"Oh, nothing," Elena quickly cut in, cutting Franziska off from giving away anything further, gleefully wringing her hands together with a mischievous sparkle in her eye, which in all truth was making me quite nervous. "Nothing at all."

_Unterwäsche der Frauen: There isn't a German word for "lingerie," so I used "Underwear of Women." Sounds kinda weird, doesn't it?_

___ältere schwester: Older Sister_

_____Was denken sie?: What do you think?_

_______eis sahne: Likewise, German lacks a term for Ice Cream as it is known in the U.S. This is the literal translation._  



	10. Turnabout City, Part Two

**Sorry it took so long. I find myself apologizing for late chapters a lot, I should probably remedy that. That said, next one will probably take even longer, as I've got the science fair going on at my school. That, and I just got a great idea for a Yu Yu Hakusho fic. Look forward to that. Then again, it might just come sooner- I wrote myself into a corner with this chapter. It seemed like a good enough idea on the figurative paper, but in practice, it turned out well, just not very good. If I had to pick a metaphor, it'd be Oliver Hirschbegel's _Der Untergang_, a very good movie about a very boring concept that only sounds cool at first. Speaking of German, I won't be using any more sprinkled in. My friend Tristan, who lends his last name to a character here, would probably laugh his ass off at me if I were to show him that I was using Google Translate. What's it, thirty percent accurate? Anyway, here it finally is after a month or so. Enjoy!**

**Turnabout City, Part Two**

The doorbell gave off a clear, cheerful ring, announcing the group's arrival. On the other hand, it gave a dull contrast to my quickly rising anxiety levels, fueled by Franziska's constant warnings, of which I weren't sure were due to sibling-induced worry or purposely feeding the flames of my fear. Elena, being herself, attempted to fix what she started by more-or-less consoling me- "Sorry if you're that scared, Miles... I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. But you still gotta do it." That, of course, didn't serve to calm me in any way, up to the point where a waiter came up and greeted us.

The man had dark skin and a thick moustache, which in turn was accompanied with an even thicker accent. "Welcome. Table for three?" We nodded, and he led us to the closest booth, of which we took the liberty of sliding into. Well, Franziska and myself, at least. Elena waited and took the man aside, whispering in hushed tones- I caught "reservation" and "special course". Evil, maniacal grins slowly crept across their faces, and they exchanged a high-five, the waiter running off to the kitchens excitedly, yelling something gleefully in some foreign language at twenty words a second, and Elena finally joining us, also gleeful.

"I strongly hesitate to ask..." I muttered, scooting as far away from her as the small space would allow. "But what exactly are you planning...?"

"That's for me to know, and you to find out in... Twenty to thirty minutes assuming a twenty-four hour prior call-in," she replied, winking as she grabbed a paper menu off of a nearby shelf.

"Don't worry about a thing, we've got it all taken care of. "

"Yes, because the _last_ time you took care of _my_ business ended _so_ well."

She smiled innocently.

Franziska looked around, miming a whipping motion with her bare hands. "What a funny restaurant. Where are the forks and spoons and knives and such?" she asked crossly. "Do not tell me we are expected to eat with our bare hands."

"As a matter of fact, we are," I replied in a mocking tone, flicking her lightly on the forehead. "If you are truly keeping up at thrice the level of your class, you should be completely aware of major, widespread habits in various world cultures." Accordingly enough, she responded with, lacking her trusty riding crop, a slap to the face with no open-palm punches pulled.

"So..."

"Yeah?"

"How's that boyfriend thing working out?

"Hm?"

"That Sommers fellow."

"Oh, that. Nah, I'm just dating him since he's rich. He got me this gold necklace for my birthday."

"...What about the entire pack of candy necklaces I got you?"

"I ate those on the spot, remember?"

"Who couldn't? It never fails to amaze me how skinny you stay with your diet."

"On the contrary. The word 'diet' is nonexistent in my dictionary."

"Oh, I can certainly believe that."

"If you two are finished bantering as if you were my age, here comes the waiter again." Indeed, the man whisked gleefully back out of the kitchens, balancing a positively gigantic green platter, glinting silver in the air as it flew to our table. With a bow and a flourish, he set down a plate that was laden thrice its height in bowls of-

Curry. Lots and lots and lots of curry. Red curry, yellow curry, yellow curry with red spots, a suspicious green curry with plaid spots, and an orange one that was hissing and bubbling and pretty much looked like it was already on fire. I could practically feel my taste buds dying off as my tongue shriveled to ashes in the burning rages of an Indian blaze. As any rational being would understand, I quickly got as far away from the mountain of lava and turned on Elena, trying my best to contain my anger. "Tell me this isn't my order. For your own safety."

She turned the other way and whistled. "I believe it was George Washington Carver who said 'I cannot tell a lie."

"That's just George Washington, fool," I growled, attempting to sound as menacing as possible without bursting into full-blown shouting, not even caring that I was visibly losing my calm image. "Now explain this very instant what's going on here."

"Calm down, Edgey," she said, waving me off as Franziska poked the orange bowl curiously and sucked on her finger. She instantly keeled over unconscious, smog billowing in tons out of her ears. "It's just a small challenge, nothing to it. Just finish the platter completely, no time limit as long as you finish in a reasonable time. Do it right, and all three of our meals are free, ja? Hop to it!" she grinned, giving me two thumbs up.

I replied wordlessly by giving her one certain finger up.

On the other hand, the one that was currently not flashing a severe obscenity, all eyes in the room were currently centered on me and the literal hell that was sitting in front of me. I figured I might as well get it over with before I murdered the smiling girl on my right, so I tore off a piece of the bread provided and submerged it in the liquid. It started smoking, and I could smell something burning. Shakily, I raised the dripping bread to my mouth, closing my eyes and pinching my nose, and took a bite.

Suffice to say the sun had nothing on the raging inferno ripping apart the inside of my mouth.

"Oh, and I forgot to tell you, Miles," Elena piped up, oblivious to the fact that the cacophony raised by the pain I was feeling rendered it virtually impossible to hear anything. "You only get that one glass of water right there-"

She was silenced as I threw her aside, desperate to get the glass she was blocking. Water splashed about everywhere as I madly drained my, Franziska's, and Elena's cups at once. The fire was still yet to be quenched, so I literally leaped onto the next table over and chugged the glasses an appalled-looking couple were about to reach for. Still desperate for relief, my antics proceeded this way until the floor was completely drenched and every table had been sucked dry of moisture. My mouth was still doing calisthenics, but the flame had been at least temporarily satiated, so I plodded back to our booth and sat down with a thud, resting my near-unconscious head on the table with a satisfied sigh.

Elena, on the other hand, was not so happy. "Failed the challenged with the first bite. You fail, you pay- in other words, you owe me sixty euros."

That did it- I fainted for real.


End file.
